Children need attention, not things

Have you ever noticed that it is natural for little kids to look you directly in the eye when they know they have your attention? We have to teach young men and women to look people in the eye. Little kids do it naturally, especially babies and toddlers.

We should try to notice what we do when we talk to children. Are we talking past them with our eyes glued to the TV or the computer? Too busy with worry, are we talking to the air over their heads with our eyes glued to the windows of our day, or to days gone, or to those yet to come, and fail to notice those two little eyes that once followed our every move from the crib?

When we do notice, are we really fixed only on their hair, or on some flaw or feature, instead of their eyes? Are we interested in looking them in the eye only when we are enraged? Is our direct attention available only when accompanied by fierce brows?

It must be important or children would be like teens, who, as many of you know, don’t really want our undivided attention anymore, and eye contact only encourages it.

Try it. Take note of a baby’s or small child’s eyes when you have their attention.

Notice that they aren’t studying you, not staring at a mole, your big nose or funny looking ears ... not staring at (or away from) your socioeconomic level, at your race, your religion or your nationality. They are looking you in the eye.

I wonder, between baby and teen, when kids finally quit trying and start emulating. I’m convinced children learn it.

Along with your worried or apathetic inattentiveness, you buy the TVs, the laptops, the Xbox, the iPod and the texting cellphone. You turn Disney on and shove the new PSP game in their hands when you’re too busy or too preoccupied to give them your attention.

Are they learning from you? Is your face still sought out? If you aren’t sure, make an effort to notice. You have to see yourself in the eyes of a child to know.

Bob Harrison
Connelly Springs, N.C.