Time To Quit Squinting And Get First Pair Of Glasses

I was trying to fake my way through Monopoly on a recent Saturday night, but I got busted when I couldn’t read the rent amounts for my own properties.

I got caught again last Sunday afternoon when I struggled through reading part of my 11-year-old son’s homework. I was squinting and holding the paper less than a foot from my face to read the sentences.

I hated to admit it, but I needed it that close to read the small type.

Earth to hardhead: You need glasses.

I got tested days later and had to admit that most of the eye chart was illegible to me.

Big deal, say those of you who have worn glasses for years. For me it was.

Up until recently, I’d been blessed with 20-20 vision. I do not like this newfound inability to see well.

Even as recently as last year, I’ve ripped through eye exams without pausing. Tuesday’s exam was full of me stammering.

I was grateful to have an optometrist who was funny and kind, two qualities you need when you are going to a new doctor and have to admit you need help.

There was no serious problem, he assured me. No macular degeneration. No cataracts. No retina problems.

If I’m lucky, I’ll turn 40 in August. My eyes don’t appreciate all that I have asked of them over a newspaper career spent staring into a computer screen for hours every day.

As the optometrist pointed out: Human eyes were made for watching for tigers, or bears, or some other predator that might approach from the distance and try to eat us. We are supposed to scan out across the horizon and look for danger.

But in modern society, we ask our eyes to work at close range for many hours per day for decades. Even the best eyes wear out and need help.

He said mine were likely in rebellion. They were having trouble focusing at a distance because of years of abuse up close.

Wear the glasses for a few weeks then see if your distance vision improves as well, the doctor advised.

I was glad to find out there was nothing serious wrong with my vision, and excited to pick out my first pair of glasses.

I meandered around in the frame section until I found a pair I liked. Or at least I think I do. Who knows? I couldn’t see that great up close, and my pupils were dilated when I made my selection.

I did one good deed for another while waiting to be fitted. A man, whose eyes were similarly dilated, was trying to pick frames for himself. He had made his selection and asked me what I thought.

“They’re purple,” I whispered.

He put them back, laughing, and thanked me.

Both of us were told we will have to wait about a week for our glasses to be ready – our frames weren’t in stock and will need to be ordered.

I am itching for my glasses because trying to do my work is tedious and difficult. I have the type size bumped way up on my computer so I can see to write.

I’m irritated over trying to read anything in fine print.

I can still type fast because I have the keyboard memorized, not because I can actually see the letters on the keys.

“Welcome to the adult world,” the optometrist jokingly told me after saying I would need glasses.
Honestly, I can’t wait – I want to see everything, without struggling, again.

Suzanne Tate is the opinion page editor at the Bristol Herald Courier and can be reached at (276) 645-2534 or .