“Gothic Charm School: An Essential Guide for Goths and Those Who Love Them” by Jillian Venters, 2009, HarperCollins, $13.99, softbound, 236 pages: Written by the creator of Gothic-Charm-School.com, this book is a veritable how-to on etiquette for those in love with the Goth subculture. It is apparently Venters’ mission in life to guide “babybats” or “gothlings” (Goths new to the subculture) in the ways of dealing with non-Goths. It is her belief that being mannerly and observing the rules of etiquette are not only essential for Goths but are actually more subversive than simply wearing black and being “edgy.”
Venters covers what looks like every aspect of Goth life, starting off with a chapter on helping the reader determine whether or not he or she is a Goth, a chapter which answers questions about Goths for those who are not Goths but are curious about them, and a chapter on “babygoths” (otherwise known as “babybats”). This last includes both being supportive of a Goth child when you yourself are not Goth, and suggestions for raising Goth children if you are Goth.
Other chapters involve tips on reassuring non-Goths that you, as a Goth, are not evil, suicidal, homicidal, or a drug freak; the subject of weddings (Goth weddings and “normal” weddings Goths may attend); and the differences between: snarkiness and cattiness (snarkiness is sometimes acidic but never mean, while cattiness is mean and aimed at vulnerabilities), self-confidence and self-absorption (self-confidence is believing in yourself, while self-absorption is believing everyone waits for your next word with baited breath) and exclusivity and snobbishness. Goths, Venters asserts, tend to be standoffish with strangers, mostly because they’ve dealt with bullying and unkindness, not because they think they’re better than others. With regard to “normal” weddings, for example, Venters suggests toning down your usual Gothic look while at the same time dressing up a bit and keeping your individuality.
Fashion has its own chapter. Here Venters goes into what to wear if you are a Goth seeking a job, working in the corporate world or on a family get-together. She also explains what to do when people ask why you are dressed like that and outlines the basics of a Gothic wardrobe. Manners on the dance floor are taken into account, and there’s a section on non-Goths attending a Goth club or event. The book is punctuated by Pete Venters’ distinctive artwork.
Note: Language may offend some readers.
Lee’s take: Good advice.
J.J.’s take: Helps bring Goths and non-Goths together.
LEE AND J.J. MACFADDEN are twins and voracious readers living in Bristol, Tenn. E-mail them at leeandjj.doubletake@yahoo.com.
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