'Rhinestone Sisterhood' focuses on pageants

“The Rhinestone Sisterhood” by David Valdes Greenwood, 2010, Crown, $25/$29.95 Canada, 277 pages: Elbow, elbow, wrist-wrist-wrist. It’s good to be queen, but it’s hard, too. Everybody expects perfection. Letting your hair down (literally) is often forbidden. Doing the “pretend like you’re icing a cake in the air” wave makes sore arms and impressive biceps. And the cheekbone-challenging smile can never stop.
All for prestige and an unimaginably small salary.
Such is the life of the women in “The Rhinestone Sisterhood,” and as you’ll see in the new book by David Valdes Greenwood, thousands of girls around the country aspire to it each year.
Before a girl sets her head on wearing a crown, she needs to decide how she’s going to get it. In Louisiana, as in many parts of the country, there are four varieties of pageant: festival (think: Milk Queen); civic (basically, a paid job); scholarship (Miss USA or Miss America); and glitz (where “Jon-Benets of all ages fork over cash to vie for meaningless crowns …”). This book is about the first kind of queen. When Chelsea was a little girl, she badly wanted to be Rayne Frog Queen. At a size 0, “like a sparrow wrapped in pink silk,” she was quiet and shy, the kind of girl who hated public speaking. So when one mistake almost made her dream hop away, she surprised everybody – even Chelsea – for finding the guts to stand up for herself.
Lauren, the current Fur Queen, had been a festival queen during her entire college career. After all those years of absolutely no free time, a severely ill sister and warring parents, she was looking forward to a respite at the end of her reign, but hurricanes Rita and Ike had other ideas.
Kristen, says Valdes Greenwood, has one “setting”: herself. Exuberant and willing to do anything in her position as Cattle Queen (that’s her on the book’s cover), she jumps in with both flip-flopped feet. But the negativity fueled Voy boards (an online forum filled with snark) had plenty to say about her reign.
Beautiful Brandy had an on-again, off-again career as a queen; first as Miss Andouille, then Yambilee Queen and now Cotton Queen. Expected to place in the top 15 in the Queen of Queens pageant, Brandy knows the pressure’s on.
Think it’s easy being queen? “The Rhinestone Sisterhood” will show you that the job is real work and being royalty can be a royal pain.
With an unfettered insider’s view of the inner workings and the drama of small-town festivals, author Greenwood pulls aside the velvet curtain to reveal a tradition that is de rigueur for every little burg and borough in the U.S. and Canada. Because he let the Frog Queen have warts and because he called things as he saw them otherwise, I think this book would be a crown jewel on anybody’s bookshelf.
If you’ve got plans for parade-viewing this year, wave at the girls in silk and tulle, then read this book. For queens – former, current or future – “The Rhinestone Sisterhood” is a book to get your satin-gloved hands on.

‘HEART’ REVIEW
“Heart of the Matter” by Emily Giffin, 2010, St. Martin’s Press, $26.99/$31.99 Canada, 384 pages: Last night, the camel’s back was broken.
You used to be in love, the two of you. There were long conversations then, lingering looks and lots of laughter. In those days, there was no doubt that he was the one for you.
Lately, though, it seems like all you do is fight. Conversation consists of snide, nothing-to-laugh-at comments, and after last night, well, you don’t know if you can ever forgive him.
When a relationship line is crossed, can two people step backward? Maybe, as you’ll see in the new novel “Heart of the Matter” by Emily Giffin.
Tessa Russo has everything: two beautiful children, a Tudor house in a tony suburb and a handsome husband who happens to be one of the world’s leading pediatric plastic surgeons. Nick is dedicated to his work and his patients love him; so does Tessa, which is why she never complains when he has to leave the house at a moment’s notice, even on the night of their anniversary.
Life has been so good to Tessa these years, and she wonders how different it would have been if she’d married the man she was engaged to when she met Nick. She remembers that night, how she got on the subway and saw Nick and was instantly in love. He had remarked on her gigantic engagement ring, she started to cry, and he gave her his number. Six months later, she was wearing his diamond.
Nick is Tessa’s best friend. No matter what her feminist mother says and whatever the neighborhood gossip, she can’t imagine that she could be any happier than she is right now.
Although she knew she needed to answer the RSVP, Valerie Anderson didn’t want her son, Charlie, going to his classmate’s birthday party.
It wasn’t that she had anything against the kid, but the boy’s mother was so uppity. Valerie knew women like that, and they always looked down on single, working mothers like her.
If only she had listened to her gut that night, then Charlie wouldn’t have gotten hurt. And if Charlie hadn’t gotten hurt, he wouldn’t have needed a pediatric plastic surgeon. And if that hadn’t happened, then Valerie wouldn’t have met Nick Russo and three lives would have not so intersected so harshly.
I hope I didn’t spoil the ending for you, but by the second chapter of “Heart of the Matter,” you pretty much know what’s going to happen, anyhow.
The thing is, you really don’t.
Author Giffin weaves a story about trust, love and willingness to sacrifice even when you can’t bear to do it, but she doesn’t allow much predictability.
Each of her characters is complex in a light-novel sort of way, and though I enjoyed my time spent with them, I vacillated between loving them and wanting to yell at them. With reactions like that, who can resist?
If you’re looking for some lighter reading this summer, look for “Heart of the Matter.” For the beach or for vacation, you’ll never forgive yourself if you miss it.

TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER has been reading since she was 3 years old and never goes anywhere without a book. She lives on a hill in Wisconsin with two dogs and 11,000 books.