Reaching out to seniors

Don't forget those who will be spending the holidays in nursing homes

BRISTOL, Tenn. – Thelma Walls can’t help it.
She just can’t.
She’s blind, started losing her sight in 1962, lost her husband seven years ago and yet she can’t help but smile.
For someone who may seem to have little, the 86-year-old resident of Cambridge House nursing home in Bristol, Tenn., sure carries on like a person who has an awful lot.
“Oh, hello!” Walls said Thursday afternoon upon meeting a complete stranger, who upon meeting her certainly no longer felt like a stranger.
“I am so happy that you came to see me!” she said, as if Santa Claus were sitting by her side.
That’s all it takes.
Yet this Christmas and particularly during subsequent days and weeks and months, far too many seniors who live in nursing homes will have few to no visitors at all.
Some have neither family nor friends. Perhaps they simply outlived them.
“They can be lonely enough to be depressed,” said Suzanne Rich, administrator at Cambridge House. “You have loneliness, boredom and helplessness.”
Life doesn’t have to be that way for the elderly, said Randy Hutchinson, activities director at Cambridge House.
“I wish everybody could spend one day in a nursing home,” he said.
Walls smiled her terminally megawatt smile.
“Just come and sit and talk with us for a while,” she said.
Volunteer if you can, Hutchinson said, or simply come on by.
“Read to them,” he said.

CONNECTIONS
Walls is one of the luckier ones. Her son lives in the area and visits regularly, but her daughter lives in Augusta, Ga., and so visits are limited. One of 10 children, Walls said her three surviving sisters live in Chicago, Ohio and High Point, N.C., respectively. A combination of age and distance prevent them from visiting.
So she depends much upon the kindness of strangers for simple friendship.
“I had a lady come in and read the Bible to me,” Walls said. “She took cancer, and I don’t know if she’s alive now. She was a lovely person.”
Such a person as that unnamed volunteer means more than money in the bank for folks like Walls. They represent connection – to the world beyond the nursing home, to people and to the heart.
But again, Walls has family. She has visitors.
“We have people who have no family at all,” Rich said.
Walls dropped her smile.
“That’s sad,” she said, as she slightly rubbed her hands.
Rich continued.
“And we have people who have large families who don’t do anything at all,” Rich said.
Walls hung her head a little and rubbed her hands all the more.
“And that’s worse,” she said.

HOLIDAYS PAST
Time was when Christmas meant the world to Walls. Still does, in fact. But back when she lived under the same roof as her beloved late husband Melvin, family members gathered in their home each Christmas for a mighty feast and fest of Christmas cheer.
“We’d have good green beans with potatoes on top, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, and we always had a good ham,” Walls said, beaming. “I’d have a good fruitcake, chocolate pound cake, and honey, I made homemade fudge that was so good. It was never grainy. People all around asked me to make candy for them.”
Walls paused.
“Oh, I wish I could do it again,” she said.
When her sight left her, so too did her days of cooking. But she has her memories, cherished memories of days gone by and folks gone by and life that was, which amounts to mighty large value.
“Oh, a million dollars and more,” Walls said. “I loved it more than anything. I’ve had to stop everything, you see.”
But Walls lives. She loves. She reminisces. She has stories to tell – of working as an inspector for Big Jack until 1962, of living in Galax, Va., of, well, life that was.
Why even a child who comes to visit can impart a great deal upon seniors in nursing homes and also leave having been enriched.
“Children and pets really brighten their day,” Rich said.
Again the sun rose upon Walls’ face.
“They are a joy!” she said. “They are precious. I just want to gather them and hug them!”

SMILING INSTEAD OF CRYING
Come, sit and spend an hour per week with someone such as Walls.
“Oh, it’s a lovely thing,” she said. “Very exciting. I have a lot of friends, but I’ve lost contact with everybody. Oh, I would love to have anybody come in. It makes you feel like they care, and I don’t feel forgotten.”
To that end, Cambridge House features an angel tree. Folks or companies can take a name from the tree and then provide a gift for that person at Christmas.
“Our angel tree is going phenomenal this year,” Rich said. “There’s bagfuls of gifts, and it’s a little bit of everything.”
Then, there’s after Christmas. When the clock ticks to a minute past midnight and the day after Christmas, visits fade like some old Bing Crosby Christmas song that’s played each year until though not after Christmas.
Loneliness returns.
Sadness ensues.
The forgotten are once again forgotten.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
“People need to volunteer,” Rich said. “Come and play checkers. Come and play cards. Bottom line is the relationship between the resident and the outside world.”
Cambridge House is but one of numerous nursing homes in the area. Most if not all need volunteers. Nary a dime comes from volunteering. However, some things far exceed that which money can buy.
“They’ll feel love,” Hutchinson said. “Trust me.”
Just the prospect of someone coming to see Walls, taking the time to sit and speak with and listen to her, brought a twinkle from her blind eyes that even ol’ Santa could appreciate.
Besides.
“I’d rather be smiling than crying,” Walls said.