Carlin Was a Fearless Risk-Taker

How in the heck can a guy throw down an ode to George Carlin without cursing?

I’ll give it a shot.

The scrawny, rough-edged New Yorker died Sunday of heart failure. He’ll probably be plodded along in a box to an awaiting throng of admirers who will speak of him at his eulogy, but I doubt that’s what he would have wanted.

He said many times he wanted to go out with a bang – literally. On several occasions, he mentioned he’d like for his body to be placed on a pile of explosives in the middle of a football field. The explosives would be ignited and, well – that was how he thought – and it would be a unique way to celebrate his life.

Most would label these thoughts unsanctified and absurd. To Carlin, the absurd made a lot of sense. Conversely, what made sense to the masses seemed to him absurd.

By the way, if you’re still living in the 1850s and you’re easily bothered by edgy, in-your-face, adult opinion, you’ve probably never been a fan.

I am, and always will be, because this cat was fearless and not afraid to take chances. He made me think and laugh, not necessarily in that order.
I last saw curious George perform a few years back in a Rockford, Ill., theater. It was my sixth live Carlin performance.

He was explaining with a straight face a radical new medical procedure involving the insertion of grasshoppers into a person’s skull. The bugs first were given toxic levels of PCP and then …

And then I couldn’t breathe. I had been forced into one of those laughs where you expel all the air from your diaphragm with a hissing sound.

My seat was on the first row of the balcony, and luckily there was a steel handrail to hold onto.

Thanks, George.

You gave us intelligent satire, sarcasm, mockery, notions, questions and disturbing references that brought the hard-of-thinking to their knees in a hurry.
And I say that as a compliment – not to the hard-of-thinking, of course. George Carlin was a heavyweight comedian and author who had a keen perception about what was really happening around him. His stuff was not for the faint of heart, and that appealed to me.

I admired him most for his honesty.

“Traditional American values: Genocide, aggression, conformity, emotional repression, hypocrisy, and the worship of comfort and consumer goods,” he wrote in “Brain Droppings.”

Yeah, he cursed a lot. So what! People curse.

George Carlin brought it to an art, or at least the millions and millions who saw him live or bought his books will tell you so.
He rattled and ranted in a staccato style, sliding a gee-whiz or shucks in there when appropriate – for him.

Carlin was tough. He made no bones about his disgust for the misuse of language. He despised politically correctness and the increasing use of euphemisms. I think he was on to something.

“I don’t like euphemisms,” he wrote in “Napalm and Silly Putty.” “Euphemisms are a form of lying. Fat people are not gravitationally disadvantaged. They’re fat. I prefer seeing things the way they are, not the way some people wish they were.”

And that was one of his greatest strengths. He could pinpoint and dissect human habits large and small to the point of making you seriously consider if he wasn’t a philosopher instead of a comedian.

You make the choice from this sampling of his “Rules to Live By,” which he suggested parents pass on to their children.

n “Never give up on an idea simply because it is bad and doesn’t work. Cling to it even when it is hopeless. Anyone can cut and run, but it takes a very special person to stay with something that is stupid and harmful.

n Beware also of the dangerous trap of looking ahead; it will only get you in trouble. Instead, try to drift along from day to day in a meandering fashion. Don’t get sidetracked with some foolish ‘plan.’ ”

It’s called sarcasm, folks. Don’t let it give you a brain cramp.

Carlin used to say, “There are only two places: over here and over there.”

I wish he was still over here.

ggray@bristolnews.com | (276) 645-2512