ANDREA HOPKINS: Paris Hilton For President? A Funny Thought For Sure

Give Paris Hilton points for her sense of humor.

Hilton, who is famous for well ... being famous, poked fun at herself last week in a mildly amusing, self-deprecating way in a video “response” to an overly harsh John McCain campaign ad.

The McCain ad compared presidential foe Barack Obama to Hilton and pop-tart songstress Britney Spears. The ad’s implication seemed obvious; Hilton and Spears are the epitome of vapid, clueless celebrity. And Obama, despite his Harvard education, his eloquence and his record of solid work in the Illinois legislature, is just like them.

The unflattering ad doesn’t quite tell a lie, but it isn’t quite truthful either. Worse, it does nothing to turn the national political discourse back to issues that actually matter.

What about the economy? Health care? The ever-expanding budget deficit? The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan? Americans have important matters to ponder as Election Day approaches, but our politics remain mired in the trivial.

McCain, it seems, squished a few toes in his own party with the Hilton-Spears-Obama ad. Hilton’s mother, Kathy, gave McCain a lashing on the left-leaning blog, HuffingtonPost.com. As it turns out, Kathy Hilton and her husband have contributed $4,600 to McCain’s presidential run. File this under “biting the hand that feeds.”

Meanwhile, back to Paris – Hilton, not the French city. In her clever retort, Hilton refers to McCain as the “wrinkly white-haired dude” and says that she’s pleased to receive his endorsement for president – even though she didn’t know she was running. Her video also intersperses images of McCain with Yoda – the wise, old wrinkly green sage from the Star Wars movies.

Then, with a straight face, Hilton proceeds to outline her “energy plan,” which she describes as a hybrid of McCain’s and Obama’s plans. In addition to favoring tiny dogs that fit neatly in a handbag, Paris Hilton is for limited expansion of offshore drilling with proper environmental controls (a McCain plank) and for incentives for the development of electric cars (an Obama concept).

Of interest to Virginia voters, former Gov. Mark Warner, a Democrat, seems to be touting a similar plan to solve the nation’s energy woes in his bid to succeed retiring Sen. John Warner, a Republican who is no relation. However, it’s a safe bet that Warner won’t appear in a bathing suit to plug his energy plan, unlike Hilton.

You can view the entire Paris Hilton spot at FunnyorDie.com. (Parents be warned; the unedited clip contains a bit of coarse language.)

The McCain campaign, meanwhile, doesn’t seem to get the joke. They’ve responded to Hilton’s mild needling by redoubling their attacks on Obama’s celebrity and by praising Hilton’s energy plan.

After the video surfaced, McCain’s spokesman Tucker Bounds told the celebrity Web site TMZ: “Sounds like Paris is taking the ‘All of the Above’ energy approach that John McCain has advocated – both alternatives and drilling. Perhaps the reality is that Paris has a more substantive energy plan than Barack Obama.”

The McCain campaign also released a new ad focusing on Obama’s celebrity, but without the images of Hilton and Spears, according to the Los Angeles Times. The ad titled, “Family,” asks if the “biggest celebrity in the world is ready to help your family.”

Way to stick to the issues, guys.

There is no dispute that Obama is popular – in the rest of the world and with about half the electorate here at home. Another chunk of the American electorate froths at the mouth at the mere mention of his name, while devoting its time to forwarding e-mailed rumors about his “Muslim” heritage.

But the campaign shouldn’t be decided on Obama’s popularity or McCain’s rightful claim to war hero status. It should be decided on the basis of bright ideas that will shape our nation for decades to come.

Obama’s recent speech in Germany was long on soaring rhetoric, but short on substance. McCain, on the other hand, has recently come across as out of touch with the lives of ordinary Americans, particularly in a campaign stop at a supermarket where he seemed confused by the price of milk and eggs.

The campaigns need to sharpen focus. It’s time to make a compelling argument to the American people. Thrilling the Germans, staging photo ops in supermarkets and sparring with Paris Hilton aren’t enough.
---
A moment of personal indulgence. This is my last column for the Bristol Herald Courier. It’s been a great ride, and I thank all of you who’ve read me regularly – whether you’ve agreed with me or not. I hope that I’ve made you think, entertained you or informed you. Farewell.

Andrea Hopkins was opinion editor of the Bristol Herald Courier for five years.